Fall leaves and fall festivals
Nights are still so hard for her, exhausted now, often she'll ask me to go to bed but when she climbs in, her eyes heavy with exhaustion she'll look at me sadly and whimper, I don't know how to sleep, Mommy. I don't know how to fall asleep.
The doctors explain that with all she's been through the nights were most likely the worst. We know that. The memories seem to be fading faster and faster but the subconscious mind is a powerful thing and her mind, when the sun goes down... kicks into protective, high alert mode. Even after all this time, I wrap her in my arms and hold her tight... often stroking my fingers slowly over her eyelids or even holding her eyes closed at her own request, until the exhaustion takes her and she falls, gracefully asleep.

Comments