For Kajal, the experiences that most children experience with joy, cause her great anxiety and unexplainable fear. Her new friend Lucy... a child she has come to really adore (also adopted, as a baby from China... )had her birthday last weekend. A perfect birthday party at Build-a-bear. Kajal didn't know what to do with herself, all of a sudden it wasn't her alone with her new friend but she was cast into a group of 10 children and her confusion and stress set in. She hid in the corner, eyes glassed over with tears, hands clampsed... silently watching the children not knowing what to do. The children got to pick a bear to fill and Lucy picked out a brown one. Kajal grabbed the same bear but looked miserable. I tiptoed over and whispered, Kajal, there's a pink bear. You love pink, you don't have to take the same one as Lucy. She was so scared, she wanted that pink bear so bad but she also wanted to fit in. She also still didn't really get what a 'birthday party was all about' other than the cake and candles of course. I just nodded encouragement and held out my hand and she grabbed me for dear life. She reached out the pink bear and climbed on my lap and finally, safe in my lap... she smiled.