i was remembering a moment in Maui when Kajal's wisdom completely blew me away, and shamed me at the same time. Kajal and I had been shopping for a while and it seemed like every where we went there was something she just 'had to have'. I tried to draw the line, had her make choices, one item here... one there and yes, even none at times when none were appropriate. There were hula dolls everywhere and she 'just had to have one'. I resisted, she had many dolls had home she never played with and it seemed like she just wanted it for the sake of it and would be tossing it aside the moment it was hers. Then we were in one store and I saw an adorable hula doll on sale, it was reasonable and so finally, I gave in. As we were at the register I noticed that the hair had flipped over and most of the head of the doll was bald. The hair was only stitched around the rim of the head with nothing in the center at all. Oh honey, we're putting this doll back, she was poorly made and has no hair. Kajal just glared at me and pouted quietly. Okay mom, she said and glumly left the store. We were on our shuttle headed back to the resort and Kajal turned to me and her emotions boiled over. You know mom, she was perfect! She snapped at me, shaking her finger in my face. That doll was perfect! She had no hair and that's just the way God wants her to be, he made her that way, just like he made Aunt Linda! My sister, Linda, as you know has recently fought Non Hodgkins and has lost her hair due to extensive chemotherapy. Kajal seemed to bond with her over her lack of hair.... as Kajal had none when she first came home to me from the orphanage.

ugh.

I felt so small and so ashamed.... she was right. Unfortunately there was no way to get back to that store on our trip. So I hugged Kajal and apologized, you right, Kajal. She was perfect just the way she was, Mommy was wrong...

We found another beautiful hula doll before leaving the island, it was one Kajal had her eye on early in the trip but I'd resisted at the time. We got that doll... but looking back I've realized, the imperfect one, the one with no hair was so much more beautiful and so much more precious... ah well, lessons learned