Celebrating the Magic of Motherhood
To all of you... all the mothers out there.. mothers with children by their side, mothers who have lost children and mothers who are waiting for children, Happy Mothers Day.
I told Kajal about my mothers day before I had her in my life, physically present in my life anyway. I went to tea at the Four Seasons in Boston with a few other 'waiting mothers' and I sat at a table, with Kajal's picture propped up in front of me. I blew her a kiss and I prayed she safe.
She wasn't, safe, where she was. But now she is... safe and loved and thank God, with me.
Tomorrow we celebrate motherhood... we celebrate our own mothers who helped us become the mothers we are today. Who believed in us enough that we could come to believe in ourselves. Tomorrow we celebrate the miracle that motherhood is.
It still leaves me in awe... that a child who lived more than half way around the world is now, my child but then, God probably always meant for us to be together... and so we are.
Kajal said to me today, even if we have hard days we still love each other and the fact that she finally knows that, knows that there are good days and bad days... easy moments and tough ones but under all those ups and downs the love stays constant...that she's starting to truly understand that and believe it, well that's the greatest mothers day gift of all.
Not that I didn't absolutely love the heart shaped cake she brought home from school, the handpainted planter and the beautiful card written in her own hand.
She's amazing... truly amazing. She got her report card... straight A's. Amazing. A child who has been from one side of the world to another.... whose known starvation and what it likes to truly be alone is now surrounded by love. She is truly full of Grace.
I think about the 'other children' that may come into our lives. That may join us and become part of our family. I wonder who they are and where they are tonight. Are they warm, are they cared for? Are they praying for a mother too? Who are my future children? Kajal's brothers and sisters?
I love being Kajal's mom. I love it so much that sometimes I want to hold off doing anything else.. .pursuing other adoptions... but then I wonder, are they waiting? If God had her picked out for me, then has he also picked out the rest of our family?
I'm trying to trust that it will happen as it's meant to... as it did for us. One day I just knew, I knew it was time and I knew that she was waiting for me, somewhere in the world. The sense of urgency took over and I couldn't race through the pre-adoption process fast enough.
But for now, we'll say a little prayer for the children still waiting... and we'll celebrate what we have today.
One another.
Life is good
I told Kajal about my mothers day before I had her in my life, physically present in my life anyway. I went to tea at the Four Seasons in Boston with a few other 'waiting mothers' and I sat at a table, with Kajal's picture propped up in front of me. I blew her a kiss and I prayed she safe.
She wasn't, safe, where she was. But now she is... safe and loved and thank God, with me.
Tomorrow we celebrate motherhood... we celebrate our own mothers who helped us become the mothers we are today. Who believed in us enough that we could come to believe in ourselves. Tomorrow we celebrate the miracle that motherhood is.
It still leaves me in awe... that a child who lived more than half way around the world is now, my child but then, God probably always meant for us to be together... and so we are.
Kajal said to me today, even if we have hard days we still love each other and the fact that she finally knows that, knows that there are good days and bad days... easy moments and tough ones but under all those ups and downs the love stays constant...that she's starting to truly understand that and believe it, well that's the greatest mothers day gift of all.
Not that I didn't absolutely love the heart shaped cake she brought home from school, the handpainted planter and the beautiful card written in her own hand.
She's amazing... truly amazing. She got her report card... straight A's. Amazing. A child who has been from one side of the world to another.... whose known starvation and what it likes to truly be alone is now surrounded by love. She is truly full of Grace.
I think about the 'other children' that may come into our lives. That may join us and become part of our family. I wonder who they are and where they are tonight. Are they warm, are they cared for? Are they praying for a mother too? Who are my future children? Kajal's brothers and sisters?
I love being Kajal's mom. I love it so much that sometimes I want to hold off doing anything else.. .pursuing other adoptions... but then I wonder, are they waiting? If God had her picked out for me, then has he also picked out the rest of our family?
I'm trying to trust that it will happen as it's meant to... as it did for us. One day I just knew, I knew it was time and I knew that she was waiting for me, somewhere in the world. The sense of urgency took over and I couldn't race through the pre-adoption process fast enough.
But for now, we'll say a little prayer for the children still waiting... and we'll celebrate what we have today.
One another.
Kajal at the Woodlands Inn in Summerville SC dressed up for Mothers Day
hanging out with Grandma and her doll, Kajal
Life is good
Hi Lisa,
I found your blog about 10 days back while searching for a dora cake of all things...
A very Happy Mother's day to you too!
Regards,
Preeti
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Thank you so much, Preeti for writing to us.... your words helped brighten my day more than I could ever express. Sometimes when you write, you feel like you writing into a void and you wonder, is anyone listening... is this helping anyone? I know the expression of writing, of sharing helps me feel like what we learn, as we live... has more meaning.
Thank you... please keep in touch
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Lisa-I so enjoy catching up with you on this blog. I feel like we have parallel lives..both single with ties to New England..both with amazing children...both with wonderful, supportive mothers. God Bless! Tamara
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That's so cool! Thank you for your support and friendship... please share your experiences here as well, I'm sure you have some special stories to share we could learn from and identify with
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Motherhood surely provides an amazing feeling..and you've been such a wonderful parent to Kajal.
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Hi Lisa,
Love your blog, thank you!
I had stumbled upon your blog arround a yr back while searching for any info on adoption, Pune and been a silent follower since then.
It warmed my heart to see you include "mothers who are waiting for children"!
And now that we finally have our baby home I am eager to know your recomendations for reading/ resources on parenting.
Suganthy
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Suganthy, I am soooooo excited for you and your family! Please share with me and our readers how you are doing... Waiting is without a doubt a magical and stressful time so yes, anyone who is reading this and 'waiting' please share with all of us how you are doing and what you are experiencing... or ask for help. We've got a large community that follow this blog, adoptive and birth parents... families of all kinds who I'm sure will offer tremendous love, support and wisdom if you need.
I have many 'favorite books' some are related to adoption and some just bring me peace and help center me when I truly need it. I've included a short list here... please jump in every one and share your favorites when you have a chance:
On International Adoption:
The Complete Guide to International Adoption by Dawn Davenport (my favorite book on International adoption, I read it cover to cover while considering, waiting, preparing for travel, first weeks home and currently... I've highlighted it, taken notes in it and carried it everwhere.. this is a must for anyone considering or having adopted internationally
Adoption Parenting by Macleod and Macrae - great overall adoption handbook with tons of invaluable information
Our Own - Adopting and Parenting the Older Child - by Trish Maskew (my personal favorite for older child adoption, read it over and over again)
Parenting the Hurt Child - Keck and Kupecky - for any adoptive parent or parent of a child who has experienced neglect or trauma
Love and Logic Magic for Early Childhood - Fay and Fay. This is a wonderful book with great ideas for parenting but adapt to your child. Some consequences in a child, like Kajal, who has really been hurt, are simply not necessary.. they can self punish and we need to be careful that consequences reinforce positive behavior vs. create further insecurity. Great tools though that can be adapted with your own insight of what's best for your child
Teaching Compassionately - Rosenberg (wonderful handbook to help parents and teachers come together to help a child)
Just for fun:
101 Cool Secrets Moms Know - Browder (someone gave this to me as a gift and I love it)
When I think I'm going to pull my hair out and need to find some peace and calm, remember what it's all about:
The Art of Happienss - His Holiness the Dalai Lama
Return to Love - Marianne Williamson (or anything by Marianne Williamson, I love her work)
Being Peace - Thich Nhat Hanh
Enjoy!
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Lisa,
Thank you for taking the time to respond and that too without being thrifty on words!
I love your parenting style and that way you effortlessly put it into words in your blog. Please do continue blogging.
Our baby is thriving now after the inital couple of weeks of cold and other infections. She has lit up our lives with joy. I can already see her personality shine through. She loves to be arround people and is alays soooo ready with her smiles for us and everyone we meet... I cannot thank God enough!
Talking of books, I love Laura Christianson's "The Adoption Decison" which I must have read and re-read (during the seemingly endless wait) for its easy readable style and cos i could relate to so much of it though I am half way round the world (except for international adoption and process for open adoption as all adoptions in India are 'closed').
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Great insight, great article, and thanks for sharing it.
How to subscribe on your blog ???
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Thank you sooo much! It's easy to subscribe to the blog... if you scroll down to the bottom of the page , on the left hand side you should see an empty box with 'subscribe' under it. Just fill in your email address and click on 'subscribe' .. that should do it for you. I hope you continue to enjoy it... say hello now and again.
Lisa
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